“Jesus led them up a high mountain apart by themselves.” I recently experienced feelings that seemed somewhat foreign to me. I am certain they are not new feelings in the sense I have experienced them before. But new to a heart that has been totally transformed by God and configured to Christ. New to a heart that has become totally open and available to God and completely vulnerable to him in every way that seems possible. New to a heart that has been transfigured in God’s Word, formed in his Way and conformed to his Will.  A heart that prays to God as often as possible: “Lord, please I beg you, set a guard over my thoughts, my feelings, my speech, my actions and my desires so that I may not offend you or be offensive to anyone. So that I may build up the Body of Christ rather than tear it down.” A heart that cries out daily and often, “not my will O Lord, but thy will be done.” So it is from this perspective that my heart was unable to explain or put to words these new emotions. So rather than allowing these feelings to consume me like a poison or a toxic drug, I ran to the Lord in adoration like a child that runs into the comfort and security of his Father’s arms and in the safety of prayer, I shared with the Lord all my confusion and lack of understanding, I expressed to our God my sorrow and my grief, I offered to our Heavenly Father the hurt, pain and uncertainty that I was going through which was so real to me. I asked the Lord in my weakened state to pierce my hands and feet and to pierce this wounded heart with love and to fill it with his glorious light. Then after awhile, in the sadness of it all, in the darkness of the moment, in the isolation I felt, a tiny whisper came forth from the monstrance, “they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” How gracious is our Lord to speak to us in our moment of need. It was then that I understood why this seemed so foreign and new. I had never been rejected for being Christ or persecuted for being love. This heart has been so wonderfully transfigured by Christ, unjustly rejected and persecuted by man and so graciously wounded in the Father’s love that all I can say is, Thanks be to God. “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” May you draw closer to the heart of Christ this Lenten Season and into the arms of our Heavenly Father who is our surest peace and our greatest love.  Have a blessed Lent.  Fr. Ivan