Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer, you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!” The month of February tends to personally be for me a time of great reflection and moments of in depth introspection about my spiritual journey and my relationship with God. A time to ask challenging questions about my spiritual growth and to consider: Who am I really and why am I here? This is a special time to examine my heart and to ponder the great mystery of my own redemption and the gift of salvation that has been given to me. My heart begins to think about Ash Wednesday; my soul begins to prepare for the Lenten journey; my body begins to anticipate the sacrifices and discipline that will soon be required of me to more deeply enter into the Holy Season of Lent. It is also the time of year that I most often reflect on my vocational call and revisit the day our Lord graciously invited me to follow him. I ponder our Lord’s patience and kindness. He was so patient with me and relentless in his pursuit. I often think about how difficult I was and how selfish I was with the gifts he gave me. How I misused his gifts; how I took him for granted. How foolish I was to believe that I only needed God when I needed him and that it was okay to call on him only when I needed him. To believe that God could never love me; God would never want me. To think that I actually convinced myself that a relationship with God was impossible because I was such a sinner. That God would never call me or allow me to serve him because I had drifted so far from him. How wrong was I to think as humans do and not as God does. God’s love is amazing. He is most kind, gentle and patient. He kept knocking on the door of my heart until I was willing to open it up to him. He kept calling me until I was willing to answer. O my Lord, most kind and gracious is your Holy Will; undying your love and desire for your children. Thank you for choosing me, for calling me, for loving me, for sending me into the vineyard. Thank you for allowing me to serve you who are all good and deserving of all my heart, mind, body, soul, breath and being; of all my love.
Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time